Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it's like heaven, but drunker
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
