3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
