I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my poor anus
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
