I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
