Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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