It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
