drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
