Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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