Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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