he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize