idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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