I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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