She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
