We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She told me I should be a condom model.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i out mim tonsoeep
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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