Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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