i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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