hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
