I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
