How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
