You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
