That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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