His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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