YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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