eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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