very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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