You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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