This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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