dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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