you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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