I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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