Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
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