For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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