And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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