You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
