So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
