he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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