Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
