That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
