We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
