Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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