Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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