dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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