I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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