A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
