can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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