32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
