What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
