There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Randomize
