It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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