its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
