yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
