oh god the rape fog is back!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
