What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
