Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
