please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
