I want to make a zoo with you.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
