I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
