So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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