I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
