I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
